Bollocks - Punk Business Manager

BOLLOCKS “ALL ROCK STARS SHOULD BE DRAFTED” 10-SONG 7″EP (BALTIMORE, MD- FETAL, RECORDED FEBRUARY 1981/RELEASED 1982)

Here’s
a real catchy, fun, unique-sounding EP! And from the early 80’s D.C.-area scene of all places, which at the time was
dominated by lots of thick n’ chunky traditional hardcore.
This EP has energetic drumming, quirky bass plucking and great guitar
noodling with some- gasp!– ska influenced strumming here and there. Now, the term “ska punk” (Operation Ivy et
all) usually causes me to clench my teeth, cover my ears and run for the nearest
bomb shelter. But on this cool record it
totally works for me. And what makes the package complete is the DIY cut-and-paste nature of the sleeve where they cram as much text and
pictures as humanly possible onto both sides (including what appears to be some Arabic text in the lower right corner- cool!).
The two-sided insert is also jam packed with clip art, good
ol’ handwritten text as well as stuff down on a typewriter (yeah!). Nice and raw looking like packaging on a punk
record should be.

The
Bollocks were the three Dagher brothers from the Baltimore, MD
area- William, Joe and Azar (who had to be the first and only member
EVER of a punk band with that first name- awesome!). These three brothers of Middle Eastern descent
ran the Fetal label which had a number of releases back then including the
pretty good Law and Order 7″EP which had similarly DIY packaging and a rawer,
sloppier, more straight-ahead HC sound (and a few of the Dagher brothers played on it too).
The Bollocks put out the more mellow and new wave-ish (but still pretty good) “Mediterran” 7″EP in 1982 and that was it. They later morphed into some band called
Braver Noise in the mid 80’s who had two LP’s on the Fetal label. Since I have never heard that band, I cannot
say one way or the other whether they blew or not. But I am scared that since it came out in punk’s “dark days” of the mid 80’s that it might not be my cup of tea.

Enough
of my babbling- this EP runs the gamut of different sounds, and I love it. It goes from a great quirky, hooky sound on
the first cut to more HC-ish stuff on the 2nd tune, to more
traditionally punk-y sound on the 3rd cut, then into a bunch of more
cool and catchy unique-sounding tunes full of off-kilter tempos and lots of hooks. One of my favorites is the very funny and quirky “All Rock Stars Should Be
Drafted”. [As a sidenote, funny that a
few of the bloated rock stars they mention in the song like Mick Fucking Jagger are still kicking around
nearly 30 years later- yikes (!)]. I’d have to say my favorite songs are Tracks 1, 3,
4, 7 and 9 but I included all 10 tracks for your listening pleasure.

ENDNOTES
An MRR Scumpit article from 1989 on the old D.C.-area scene first got me interested in hearing this EP after they recommended it as a good yet more obscure one. At the time my knowledge of D.C. area stuff was limited to either Dischord-related or 1/2 Japanese. J.T. taped the EP for me a few years later and I was instantly hooked.

I then raved about it and taped it for Scott (later of the very sorely-missed Antenna Internet Radio site of which I was a contributor in the interest of full disclosure). Scott dug it and shortly thereafter unearthed a boatload of copies in a big warehouse find in the D.C. area. Being such a cool guy, he was nice enough to send my multiple copies of the EP. What is very curious is the different sleeve variations- the PS came in a variety of colors, from white to light yellow (see above) to darker yellow and even a minty-green one if I remember right. Then some of the different sleeve colors have slight text variations on the front- I’d have to check all my copies when I get a chance, but I believe some less stuff written on the shoe. But I’d love to know how many copies were pressed in total and which colors constitute a 1st pressing, 2nd pressing, etc. Their later “Mediterran” EP also came in a variety of sleeve colors, including white and green. Again, I’d have to check all my copies to see which ones I have and if there’s any others.

HERE IS THE TWO-SIDED INSERT